“Just take me home!!” I spewed out of my mouth. Did I really want to go home or was I being dramatic or did I have valid reasons to be upset or should I apologize and salvage this??!! Let’s rewind a second.
Are you ready for some honest, real talk? My hubby and I went on a MUCH-NEEDED date last weekend. We hadn’t been on one for at least 6 months. My mom offered to take the kids so we could just reconnect. We had a blast and went to the driving range, where I learned 100 golf balls for me is too much! Especially, since I’ve only gone to a driving range a handful of times in my life. Then, we went out, met with friends and just had FUN.
This was our second attempt at going out on a date. The truth is we went on a date a few days prior. That date went south, REAL FAST. I was triggered and gave some hints I was uncomfortable, but they must’ve been too subtle, because I eventually just walked out of where we were and began walking to a shopping complex. I didn’t have a plan, but at that moment, I felt I needed to follow through with my walk to Target (stubborn). That nice half-mile walk had me trying to figure out why I was triggered. There were a few things, but ultimately it was off of past hurts and unresolved concerns I have. I bet you’re wondering if he came and got me and why in the world I made it all the way to target which was a good 15-minute walk, right?
Well, he got asked to help jump a lady’s car. As he was being kind, I was having plenty of time to mull over my actions. When he did come, let’s just say there were tears, disagreements and tension. This time of year, brings joy and let’s be honest, some stress. I didn’t think I was stressed, but one thing I was, was EXHAUSTED.
Maybe you can relate. Has this been a busy time? Are emotions running high? Is it a difficult time? Are you exhausted, or maybe just going through a lot of changes??
We have had loads of change this past year. We have been focusing on the next thing to get through. Baby, trip, movers, goodbyes, buying a home, moving from England, career change, unpacking, holidays, birthdays, visitors, the list is endless. With loads of change came loads of emotions.
I’m not proud of my actions that day and I know I should have put my pride down, expressed what had upset me, give a hug and finished our date. Instead, I let my emotions get the best of me and break me. We were able to come to a place to have open communication but there is a much simpler and better way.
Andrew and I have been through a lot, but can count on one hand the major fights we’ve really had. So as much as we have grown as a couple and bettering our communication, let’s just say there is ALWAYS room for improvement, especially with every season of life. So here I am ready to continue tackling and conquering my shortcomings AND listening to my own words I iterate over and over to my kids: YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR OWN ACTIONS! It doesn’t matter if you are wronged or not, we are still responsible for how we react.
We have to continue to try each day. If we didn’t decide to work on the hurt and try again on our date night, I would still be needing time with him and probably still upset.
So, give yourself some grace, shake it off, and try again! Happy New Year and here’s to conquering 2019!!