I have a ridiculous number of things I want to write about or do a video on, but this pregnancy brain has me all consumed of when I may finally go into labor and meet this sweet child. I’m not sure why I thought it was such an amazing idea to not find out what we are having because it is making me absolutely NUTS!!! My sweet husband who wanted to find out has come to really enjoy and embrace not knowing. WHY DO THE ROLES ALWAYS SEEM TO REVERSE!?!?! Hahaha. In order to try and calm my anxious mind I am going to share a few fun, and oh so not glorious, moments of afterbirth. Hopefully, this will help me enjoy the last moments of pregnancy.
- Let’s be for real…LABOR IS PAINFUL…DARN YOU EVE!!! I always want to be one of those women on “I didn’t know I was pregnant” and they practically poop a baby out in the bathroom. Sometimes being blissfully unaware seems like the best.
I have had all my kids natural with no pain medication. If I wasn’t stupid terrified of a massive needle crippling me, you bet I would try an epidural. But alas, I do not. I am looking forward to trying “gas and air.” Here in England they offer quite a few pain relief methods before an epidural. But the differences of having a baby in the States and here is for another post ?.
- After at least a handful of people have just seen your vajajay stretch out and fit a human body out of it, you are then asked to deliver your placenta. I am glad God made our bodies to know what to do, because to this day I still don’t know how the heck I have delivered 3 of those things. While your significant other is enjoying your beautiful baby, your work is NOT done.
- You are asked to go to the bathroom/toilet after you give birth. WHY!??! I am sure there is good reason for this, but I literally was just learning how to push something other than urine out of that area while trying not to poop, and now I have to remember how to pee. It’s really not as easy as you think. And don’t get me started on how it looks down there!!! How my husband ever wanted to be intimate again, has me dumbfounded. Let’s just say it is a swollen unidentifiable object.
- You are given these beautiful mesh panties that you GET to put a MASSIVE pad on, because those 9 months of no periods come back in full force in one go! If you are like me, I am having a homebirth and literally just bought myself some adult diapers, practically. They try to make them look like cute underwear, but you can’t make an adult diaper cute…YOU JUST CAN’T! My husband won’t even let me show him what they look like. I was also told to buy some doggy pee pads to lay underneath where I sleep…Am I even human anymore?!?
- Yes, I’m wearing an adult diaper, while sympathizing with my daughter. You’re welcome.
- Oh, you thought contractions were done because you are holding your sweet baby…YOU ARE SO WRONG! Your body will continue to contract for a few days. I am told it gets worse the more kids you have. This is just cruel! I’m on #4 and am dreading this. You bet I’ll be popping some pain pills haha.
- Those contractions are even more frequent if you choose to breastfeed. This really is a positive thing, but why does it have to hurt!?! I have been blessed to be able to nurse my babies and enjoy it, but the beginning phases of it can be painful!!!! I’m not sure I’m ready for leakage and random wet spots on my shirts.
- SLEEP!! You think you are uncomfortable at the end stages of pregnancy and can’t sleep, but when that baby comes I promise you won’t sleep. You won’t be just tossing and turning and thinking about sleep, you will be hearing cries, and half-awake stumbling down stairs or hallways warming up a bottle or nursing, changing diapers, and rocking that beautiful bundle of joy. Relish in the tossing and turning.
There are WAY WAY WAY more positives once you hold that sweet child, which is why women continue to have babies. I just purely need to put my mind at rest, because my nerves have taken over in anticipation to meeting the newest addition! I promise I will write a lovey dovey post soon enough, unless this baby is late…I don’t handle late well ?
Let’s pray: Lord, please have this baby fall out…painlessly! Amen